The Perks of Being a WallMan
by audi katia
Summary: Wally stands on the fringes of life and offers a unique perspective. :::The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Young Justice style:::
1. Part One

**NOTES**: Honestly, I'm not sure how well this works. It's different from my usual style and I tried very hard to keep everyone in character while still keeping true to the book. I think I've done well with it, but maybe you all think differently. As it is, I hope you like it. :)

This is dedicated to brella, who requested it on the Young Justice ficathon.

**DISCLAIMER**: I own nothing. This is HIGHLY inspired by Perks and if any of this seems familiar, that's why. The italics are direct quotes and I own nothing and claim nothing as purely original.

* * *

**PART ONE**

_So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be._

* * *

It was last spring on a day that tasted like summer when they heard Mr. Wayne's voice on the loudspeaker.

"Boys and girls, I regret to inform you that one of our students has passed on. We will hold a memorial service for Conner Kent during assembly this Friday."

Wally didn't know exactly how fast the news traveled, but it was lunchtime when he learned from Jaime with the thick accent that Conner killed himself.

Looking back, Wally couldn't remember much else of the day. But he remembered how Bart came to pick him up, drove him too fast down roads and let him eat until he was sick.

But what Wally remembered the most was how what really bothered him is that he never really understood why Conner did it.

He wished he knew. It might have made him miss Conner more clearly. It might have made some sort of sad sense.

* * *

Wally doesn't think there's a favorite kid in the family. He's the youngest of three.

Bart is the oldest. He runs track and is the fastest person Wally's ever known. Iris is the middle child, very pretty, very smart, and sometimes mean.

Wally gets straight A's in science. He thinks that's why his parents leave him alone.

* * *

It's not even a year since Conner died, but Wally's in high school without him. It's strange to look around the classroom and see Conner's other friends and how they've all moved on without him. It's not that he expected an empty desk to be saved in his honor, but this is strange.

Megan is in some of Wally's classes. When Wally sees her, he thinks about how Megan told him that Conner told her she was the prettiest girl in the whole world. He thought she was pretty when she had braces and whiteheads and didn't know how to wear her hair. She said she missed him terribly not because they used to kiss but because he was her best friend.

Wally sees her now, sees that she's taller and her red hair is brushed nicely and her braces are gone. She's dumber around boys, but she never looks as happy as she did in middle school.

She doesn't say hello to Wally when she sees him in the hallway.

* * *

The first time Wally sees Bart on television, his mother cries and his father puts his arm around her. Iris even smiles, which is funny because Wally can't remember the last time she smiled at Bart. Bart runs and runs and runs for his college and Wally misses him.

* * *

The next day, Wally runs like his brother. He likes to pretend he's Bart, running with his feet against the pavement like it's what he's meant to do.

The coach asks him to call him "Barry" when they're not in gym and gives him extra laps to run sometimes. He says there's an expression on his face when he runs and that's something he should explore.

"Run. Tell me what you think about when you run."

Wally wonders why he shouldn't just join track like his brother. But Barry says it's not a structure that he needs and it's not going to help him.

* * *

Wally doesn't really understand why all the boys are nice to Iris. He really doesn't understand at all except that she's very pretty. She really is mean to the boys sometimes, especially John.

John is respectful to their parents which makes Wally's mother like him and his father to think he's soft. Wally doesn't really agree with either of them, but he thinks Iris agrees with their father and that's why she dates him.

She sits on the couch and tells him he should stick up to his bullies and he should get the bottom of his problems. She sits and nags and snips and never really yells, just uses that mean voice. Wally doesn't mean to be in the room, but he thinks that they shouldn't argue in the kitchen if they don't want people in need of a snack to walk in on them.

He doesn't mean to be there when his sister points at him and says, "Even Wally sticks up to his bullies."

Wally can't remember ever really doing that, but that doesn't matter because the next thing he knows, John is slapping Iris across the face. He wound up and hit her hard.

Wally watches as Iris doesn't say anything. She gets soft and nice and tells Wally to leave them alone and not to say anything to their parents because they were in love and it was okay.

Wally leaves, wondering if he should, and thinks that maybe John stood up to his bully.

* * *

Iris spends a lot more time with John after that.

She smiles more and laughs more and Wally can hear them in her room when their parents aren't home.

They hold hands and act like everyone is happy. John compliments their mother, which their father thanks him for. Wally watches as his mother just stays quiet and Iris watches him, making sure he doesn't say anything.

When Wally runs, he sees them holding hands at track meets and throwing up in bushes at frat houses and not studying together for tests at college and Iris putting up with all of it.

He feels bad for both of them and runs a little faster.

* * *

Dick Grayson is very funny. He tells jokes in computer class and is very good at impersonations.

Wally thinks this is the hardest he's laughed since Conner died.

* * *

Wally used to go to football games with Conner. They used to talk Conner being on the team when they got to high school.

Now Wally goes to the games alone. He looks at the crowds and wonders who here is in love and who is just hanging out and who's as alone as he is.

That's when he sees Dick.

"C'mon, Tim!" Dick yells to the quarterback.

Wally doesn't know what convinces him to do this, but he thinks anyone who can make him laugh like Dick does is someone he should spend more time with.

"Hey! You're in my computer class!" Dick is as friendly as he is funny.

"I'm Wally."

Dick turns back to the game, leaving Wally with a silent invitation to stay. He yells at the field, sparing Wally a play-by-play analysis like he's someone who really, honestly knows football.

"Oh, Wally, this is Artemis," Dick says, pausing from yelling out to Tim the quarterback as a girl comes up beside him.

Artemis gives Wally a once over before making some decision in her mind and waving.

Incidentally, Artemis has gray eyes and very very pretty blonde hair. Blonde like liquid gold in a ponytail that doesn't make a big deal. Wally doesn't notice this until after the game when they go out for dinner because the stadium lights have washed her out and standing under the Big Boy lights, he thinks she's beautiful.

And even though she's very nice and pretty and he would like to ask her on a date, he doesn't mind that she's taken because she's with someone as nice as Dick.

"How long have you been going out?" Wally asks, seeing how happy they are together.

They look at each and laugh.

"We're brother and sister," Dick explains.

And when Wally looks hard at the two of them, trying to find some shared feature, Artemis explains that they are stepsiblings.

Wally doesn't tell them, but he's happy to hear this because he'd like to ask her out on a date someday.

* * *

That night, Wally dreams about Artemis.

She's naked, her legs on either side of the couch. Wally is with her.

He wakes up, feeling better than ever before in his life. But that feeling fades away as he realizes he's seen her naked without her permission. Girls have been on his mind before, but they've never really been talking.

But he wants to talk to Artemis. He wants to be friends with her and make up inside jokes. He thinks it would be nice to have a friend again.

He think he's like that even more than a date.

* * *

"It's okay to dream about me," Artemis says after a very long silence, "but don't think of me that way."

She doesn't offer much explanation past that and Wally has no more to say after telling her about his dream.

But when she hugs him, he can smell pine needles and it makes him pull away.

"I'm thinking about you that way again."

* * *

Dick pulls Wally aside and Wally thinks Artemis might have told Dick everything.

"Wally, has anyone told you how it works?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, there are rules to follow here not because you want to, but because you have to. You don't have to get all distraught about it. You just have to get traught. You get it?"

Wally doesn't really understand, but he understands enough to nod.

* * *

_I look at people holding hands in the hallways, and I try not to think about how it all works. At school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to "their song." In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys' jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are._

* * *

When Wally tells these thoughts to Barry, Barry listens to every word.

"Do you always think this much, Wally?"

Wally wishes he hadn't said anything.

"Do you want to talk about how you felt after Artemis told you not to think of her that way?" Barry's voice is soft and prodding and friendly and Wally wishes someone would tell him how he's supposed to answer because lately his answers are always wrong.

"I'd rather talk about something else."

"Wally, you're in denial."

"I'm okay with that."

Barry doesn't say anything else for a while, his face still serious. But he lets it go in favor of asking about Wally's home life. Wally talks about his quiet mother and how his whole family watched his brother run and how John hit his sister because he only ever promised not to tell his parents and Barry isn't a parent so it's okay.

Barry gets silent and still and something is drawn on his face.

"Wally, we accept the love we think we deserve."

Wally thinks he will never forget that.

* * *

Wally runs home. He knows Barry is going to call home and thinks Barry is a better person for righting wrongs and maybe Wally should be more like that.

"I love him!"

"No, you don't."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

Wally listens to Iris and their father yell.

"He's my whole world!"

This is when their mother speaks calm and quiet.

"Don't ever say that about anyone again. Not even me."

Iris stops yelling and crying immediately. Soon after, their father leaves to talk to John's father and their mother leaves to make dinner.

Once the room is empty save for the two of them, Iris turns and Wally thinks maybe he can see some hate in her eyes.

"Why did you have to do that?"

"I love you."

"You're a freak."

Wally thinks he did the right thing, but it's hard to tell sometimes.

* * *

Wally doesn't dream about Artemis anymore. He dreams about a woman he doesn't know and is just happy to have inside jokes with Artemis.

While Dick yells at Tim the quarterback, Artemis invites Wally to a party.

"I've never been to a party before."

"Geek." But the way she says it, Wally just smiles.

So the game ends and they pile into Artemis's truck. Music plays, Artemis rocks her head back and forth, Dick hangs his hand out the window, and Wally sat in the middle of his two new friends on the way to his first party.

"I feel infinite," he says when the song on the radio ends and the entire car is silent save for the tires against the pavement and the wind rushing by.

* * *

It doesn't look like a party because Wally can't hear thrumming music or see red cups on the lawn. But when Dick knocks on the door, it opens a crack and a single seafoam eye is seen.

"Dick?"

"Kaldur."

The door opens all the way and a guy appears. He's mellow in a way that makes Artemis laugh a little loud.

Wally followed her laugh to the basement to find it full of people.

Two girls named Raquel and Babs sit in the corner, comparing tattoos and piercings. This guy named Mal was sitting to his girlfriend Karen as she talked about how queen bees are more important than male bees and all Mal keeps saying is, "I know, baby." Even Tim the quarterback was there.

Artemis hands Wally a beer and starts chain smoking in a way that Wally knows is very unhealthy, but very attractive in the way the cigarette sits against her lip.

She sees him watching her smoke and blows into his face, his vision soon filled with gray haze.

"Hungry?" she asks. He can almost see her mouth before the smoke clears and his eyes water.

"Always."

The cigarette sits in the corner of her mouth and Wally watches as her legs unfold from under her and her ponytail bobs its way upstairs. He trails quickly behind her.

She walks around in the kitchen like it's her home and Wally thinks that maybe she spent a lot of time here when Kaldur was still in high school.

Artemis is making milkshakes when Wally hears a noise in the laundry room. When he opens the door, he finds Dick kissing Tim. It's a stolen type of kiss and he wishes he could silently shut the door and pretend he didn't see this at all.

Tim looks nervous, but Dick assures him that Wally is a friend and that Tim should just relax.

"Listen, Wally. Tim doesn't want people to know. I need you to promise that you won't tell anyone. This will be out little secret. Okay?"

"Okay."

Wally goes back to Artemis, silent and devouring a scarily delicious milkshake. But he can hear muffled voices and something that sounds like tension and disappointment. Soon after, Tim leaves and everyone ends up back in the basement.

Dick smiles like Wally has never seen before and maybe the disappointment wasn't as bad as it sounded.

"He's something, isn't he?" Dick says, pointing at Wally with a smirk.

"He's a Wall-man," Kaldur intones. It's a pun, something like a joke, but something in his voice is so slow and sure that settles on Wally's shoulders like the best compliment in the world.

Everyone nods and Dick is suddenly right in front of Wally without Wally even seeing him move

"You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand."

Somehow, it's very important to Wally that everyone nodded. Especially Artemis. Especially her.

* * *

The next night is homecoming and it's nothing like sitting on the floor between Dick and Artemis at Wally's first party. It's nothing like Artemis introducing him to Zatanna as her friend and Kaldur calling him the Wall-man.

Wally ends up dancing more than he thought because whenever he dances, Artemis laughs. Sometimes when she laughs, he can't tell if she's laughing mean or nice, but this laugh is friendly and he thinks it would make him dance even if music wasn't playing. She's pretty in her dress, but she might deck him if he says that, so he doesn't say anything at all.

He's trying not to think of her in that way, but she's making it very difficult with her cigarettes and laughter and hair in a ponytail that doesn't make a big deal.

Instead, he looks around the dance and sees Tim dancing with his girlfriend Stephanie and not talking to Dick at all. He sees Iris dancing with John, even though some other boy had picked her up for the dance.

He asks Artemis if they can leave soon after that. Dick is also more than happy to leave.

* * *

They've only been driving for a few minutes when Artemis pulls the car over. She tells Dick to drive, her voice forceful without any room for argument. But the way Dick is smirking, Wally can tell it's an order he's more than happy to take.

He's not sure what's going to happen, but he thinks it's happened before and how it's happening again and he is a part of it.

Artemis climbs into the back of her pick-up truck, all elbows and green party dress. Her smile is dangerous and happy when she tells Dick to drive.

They approach a tunnel, driving faster and faster, and Wally turns around in his seat to see Artemis stand up, her dress turned into waves in the wind.

When they hit the tunnel, all sound was scooped up into a vacuum in a way that Wally has always understood scientifically, but never witnessed firsthand. Instead, the only sound he hears is Artemis screaming loud and long and piercing as an arrow.

The tunnel ended and the vacuum no longer existed and Artemis stopped screaming and the sound of the world erupted around them once more. Then Artemis sat down and started laughing. Dick started laughing. Wally started laughing.

And in that moment, Wally swears they were infinite.

* * *

_Please review!_


	2. Part Two

**NOTES**: Okay, to avoid any confusion, this is a Young Justice fic inspired by The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's a book that will soon be a movie. I haven't ripped this idea off of a preview on the television/movie theatres. I am acknowledging that this is a story based off of a book that an upcoming movie is also based off of. Okay. Also, for those familiar with this book, I intentionally left out some of the family parts. It just didn't fit in with my personal take.

This is dedicated to brella, who requested it on the Young Justice ficathon.

**DISCLAIMER**: I own nothing. This is HIGHLY inspired by Perks and if any of this seems familiar, that's why. The italics are direct quotes and I own nothing and claim nothing as purely original.

* * *

**PART TWO**

Wally doesn't quite understand why Dick isn't more upset that Tim spent homecoming with Stephanie. At least, he doesn't until Dick sits him down and explains it all to them.

It was at a party because that's how most high school stories start out. Dick was drunk and Tim was pretending to be drunk and they were finally alone. Dick says it was uncomfortable and exciting for both of them.

And when the small talk ran out, which always happens eventually, they looked at each other. When they finally started fooling around, Dick said it was like the weight of the world disappeared.

But the weight fell heavily again when the weekend was over and Tim was telling anyone who would listen that he was too drunk to remember anything.

The next weekend, it happened again. And it happened again for seven months.

Tim drank whenever they fooled around, got high even though they never touched each other outside of Friday night parties. And when they weren't touching, Tim refused to even look at Dick.

Dick doesn't have to tell Wally how hard it is for the person you really like to not even look at you.

It was summer when Dick and Tim had sex for the first time.

That was the night that Tim cried and refused to let Dick hold him. That was the night that Dick finally said, "Just pretend you're passed out." That was the night Tim was found hours later fast asleep, no one the wiser about what happened.

Tim didn't see Dick for the rest of the summer.

His parents never knew why he drank as much as he did and got stoned as often as he did. No one other than Artemis knew what had happened. And when school started up again, Tim made it clear that nothing would ever happen again.

Until a few months later, when Dick woke up to rocks against his window and a second chance. They only touch at parties like Kaldur's where people are quiet and understand these things.

When Wally asks Dick if he ever feels sad to keep secrets, Dick shakes his head no. He says he's chalant because at least now, Tim doesn't have to be drunk or high to make love.

* * *

Wally loves Artemis.

It's not the movie kind of love and it's not an easy kind of love. He just looks at her and thinks she's the prettiest and most challenging girl in the whole world. She is smart and fun and dangerous and when she smiles, Wally can see her teeth sharp and beautiful.

But she's dating a boy named Roy who drinks red wine and is cut and hunky, according to Dick.

He's in college, an amateur photographer, who aims and shoots with his camera like he's got something to prove.

Wally hasn't seen any of his work save for a photograph of Artemis and it is impossible to describe how beautiful it is.

He thinks it's like running until your vision is black and yellow, and sound caught in a vacuum, and the most expressive eyes you've ever seen, and someone who holds you when you cry. That's what the photograph looks like.

And maybe Artemis has never had someone look at her the way the photograph makes her look. So maybe that's why she's dating Roy. He thinks the photograph is beautiful because of how he took it, but the photograph is only beautiful because of Artemis.

Wally thinks it's a shame that the only way Roy can see her is through a photograph.

He loves Artemis. And it hurts very much.

* * *

Wally asks Iris about John, pestering her until she makes him promise not to tell a single soul.

She says she's still seeing him. She says he hasn't hit her since. She says she thinks about him all the time. She says they are going to get married.

And the more she says, the more Wally worries about her.

* * *

_The people in old photographs always seem a lot happier than you are. I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as I look in my old photographs. I hope they believe me._

* * *

Bart calls to say he's not coming home for Thanksgiving.

Wally listens as his father says something about that being the way of sports and Wally listens as his mother doesn't say a word.

Wally sits and thinks about families that are strong and families that want to be strong, but fall apart anyway. He thinks his family is strong, but then he thinks about the secrets he's keeping.

In other news, Conner's parents are divorced now. Only seventy percent of marriages stay together when they lose a child. Wally read that in a magazine somewhere.

* * *

Even though he wishes for Artemis, Wally pulls Dick's name out of the hat for Secret Santa and is very happy for it. Except for computer class, he hasn't seen Dick since he's been spending most of his time secretly with Tim.

His first gift is a mix tape of all the songs they've listened to on the radio. Not songs that have been on the radio while they were in the truck, but songs they sat quietly as though in the song's presence. Songs that make them feel like they belong to something.

Wally hasn't felt like he belonged anywhere for a long time and he's finding that with Dick and Artemis and Kaldur and everyone in the basement of the parties.

* * *

When Wally opens his locker, he finds a shirt with a lightning bolt. He doesn't understand the significance, but he likes it anyway.

* * *

By the end of the week, Wally has received a red water bottle covered with more lightning bolts. He takes it with him the next time he goes running and doesn't get thirsty at all.

He has also given Dick a book about Harvey Milk.

* * *

The Christmas party comes on a night wiped clean and magical with snow and twinkling lights. Wally finds himself warm with brandy and the comfort of friends as they gather in Kaldur's basement to exchange their final gifts.

No one is surprised when Wally announces he is Dick's Secret Santa, but everyone laughs hard when they see his last gift to Dick is a harmonica. The gift of music to cheer Dick up and to annoy Artemis whenever necessary.

He doesn't miss the roll of her eyes and suddenly the warmth in his stomach has nothing to do with brandy.

The room swims with people exchanging earrings and marijuana pipes and nail polish and tubes of Pringles. Finally Wally finds Dick in front of him, hands tangled with shoelaces covered in lightning bolts

"Lightning on your shoes make you run faster."

* * *

The party is sleepy from the brandy, people talking soft or playing with their new gifts. Kaldur blows bubbles through the room and Dick sleeps on the couch, harmonica dangling from his fingertips. Zatanna and Raquel talk in quiet girl tones, laughing as Babs paints their nails.

Artemis finds Wally's gaze and looks at him. And in that steely gray gaze, Wally finds himself nodding and following her upstairs, wondering if he will always be following her wherever she leads.

He takes his present for her on his way upstairs and thinks about how he thought about this present from the first time she ever let him see her. Not meet her or look at her, but actually see her without her snark and bravado.

They sit at the kitchen table, quieter still than the basement. He hands her an old, used-bookstore copy of _Alice in Wonderland_.

"You said a long time ago that this was a book you used to read when you were little. I found it and read it and nothing has confused me more. And I liked that."

Artemis looks at him soft and surprised, a face he barely sees before she hugs him. And Wally closes his eyes because he wants to know nothing but her arms and her lips on his cheek as she kisses him.

She whispers so no one can hear, "I love you."

And he knows she means it as a friend, but that doesn't make it mean anything less.

Wally keeps his eyes shut even as she walks away and opens them again to see her return with a small notebook and pen. He sees the lightning bolt on the front and smiles.

"For all your thoughts when you run."

No sooner after he holds the notebook, she's taking it back and writing in quick script, _Write about me sometime._

And the first two words Wally writes in his new notebook are _You wish_.

She shoves at him a little before he writes two more. _I will_.

She smiles again, softer even than when she held Alice in Wonderland in her hands. This is an Artemis he has never seen. This soft creature who held him and let him hold her, with smiles instead of smirks, and eyes round in a way that they have never been before.

Wally reaches around her suddenly still form and pulls the band away that holds her hair in that same ponytail he has always known. Her hair falls away and completes this soft picture she has created before him.

That's when he takes his notebook and writes again.

_I love you, too._

Artemis looks at the paper and looks back at him.

"Wally... have you ever kissed a girl?"

If it were anyone else, he might have lied. Might have tried to seem cooler. But somehow, he knows she'll know. He thinks he might have blushed if they weren't so quiet and alone. He shakes his head no.

"Not even when you were little?"

Wally shakes his head again. It's so quiet.

Artemis tells him about the first time she was kissed. It was her father. Her real father, not her step-father. She was seven and only Dick and Zatanna know.

A long moment passes before she speaks again.

"I know that you know that I like Roy. And I know that I told you not to think of me that way. But just forget that for a minute. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I just want to make sure of that. Okay?"

"Okay."

And she kisses him. The kind of kiss Wally knows he can never tell anyone about. The kind of kiss he can never talk about out loud. The kind of kiss that makes him know he's never been so happy in his whole life.

* * *

_I ran over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't._

* * *

The clock strikes four in the morning on the first day of the new year. Wally thinks about how everyone else in the world is either asleep or having sex, but he's watching cable television and eating jello.

His cheeks are still cold from when he left the New Year's party to shovel Kaldur's driveway. From when Kaldur came outside and never said what he was doing was strange, but instead stood with him and looked at the sky.

He listened when Kaldur talked about the magic he learned when he was younger, a magic from brownies and bowls and pipes. Wally didn't think he really believed in that sort of magic, but he accepted a brownie and now the trees look like dragons.

So now it's four in the morning and he's eating jello, and when he looks out the window he thinks about how other people have seen this snow before. He wonders how they feel tonight.

And Wally has to think about all of this because if he doesn't, all he can think about is how he can hear Artemis and Roy having sex.

* * *

_Please review!_


	3. Part Three

**NOTES**: There is drug-use in this chapter. If that is an issue for you, proceed with caution. :)

This is dedicated to brella, who requested it on the Young Justice ficathon.

**DISCLAIMER**: I own nothing. This is HIGHLY inspired by Perks and if any of this seems familiar, that's why. The italics are direct quotes and I own nothing and claim nothing as purely original.

* * *

**PART THREE**

He doesn't remember how it happened. He just remembers running and running and running in the snow before falling over and making a snow angel.

And then he doesn't remember anything for a long time after that. He finds out later in the hospital that the police found him frozen and blue.

And if anyone suspects he did drugs at the party, nobody says anything. It's silent on the drive home from the emergency room and everyone assumes he passed out from running too much.

His father even tells him he runs too much. Wally doesn't know how to do anything else.

They go home and watch Bart's track meet as a family, all corners of all eyes watching Wally.

* * *

The first day back to school, Wally wears his lightning bolt shirt even though he doesn't plan on running. It makes him feel brave. Brave enough to skip class with Dick and Artemis.

"Lookin' sharp, Flash," Dick says with a wink.

"Can I have a cigarette?"

Dick's about to hand him one, but Artemis stops him with a sharp movement.

She looks hard at Wally, eyes narrowed and hand clamping down on his bicep.

"Nothing's wrong, I swear," he lies as he answers her unasked question.

Artemis's eyes never lose their hardened look, but her hand relaxes and finds its way to his shoulder. She's the one to take the cigarette from Dick and give it to Wally and she's the one who lights it, holding the zippo in a way that makes Wally very nervous.

The first taste is soothing and doesn't make him cough at all. Artemis tells him to focus on the smoke, on the cement, on a piece of paper on the ground.

He listens to every word, happy when she smiles at him.

* * *

He's up to ten cigarettes a day. He can't run as far, but it's nothing like New Year's. He thinks it's a fair trade off.

* * *

Barry notices he's not running as much and that all his thoughts when he runs are muddled like smoke. So he asks Wally to visit him in his office and they discuss everything.

Wally feels like an adult in a way that he only does when he talks to Barry. He even smokes a cigarette in the office which Barry allows, but gives him a pamphlet about health risks all the same.

* * *

Iris is very quiet and very moody and when Wally tries to talk to her, she tells him to shut up and leave her alone.

* * *

There's a nude photograph in the school newspaper that week.

Artemis had Roy take the picture and Zatanna slipped into the newspaper. Somehow Wally is the one to distract the other people in the newsroom when Zatanna sneaks it into the printer, and she teases him the whole walk back to Artemis's truck about the blush on his face.

When the paper circulates at the end of the day, Artemis and Zatanna said to keep it a secret that the photograph was Dick. And they all did. Except Dick.

"Feeling the aster, baby!" Dick says over and over again as students walk by, papers in their hands and various looks of amusement and bafflement on their faces.

Wally asks Artemis what that means and she rolls her eyes in a way that doesn't really answer the question at all. Instead Zatanna tells him she thinks Dick wanted the photograph in the paper so Tim could have a photograph of him without it being suspicious. Wally watches Tim buy a paper without even looking at it, so maybe she was right.

They're still standing in the parking lot, Dick dancing and Artemis laughing and Zatanna turning slowly towards Wally.

"You're cute when you blush."

Wally likes girls. He really does. Because they can make him think he looks good when he blushes even though it really only makes him look like a tomato. So that's why he says yes when Zatanna asks him to the Sadie Hopkins dance.

* * *

Wally asks Iris for advice about how to treat Zatanna on their date. She just stays very still and quiet in her room, staring off into space. When he asks her if she's okay, she just tells him she needs to be alone.

* * *

Zatanna is a very interesting person because she has a tattoo that symbolizes her Wiccan religion and wears fishnet stockings like she wants to make someone mad. She is smart and pretty and makes announcements like she could run the world someday.

* * *

Maybe it's wrong, but Wally wants Artemis to be jealous. She's not.

Instead she helps him when Iris is too busy staring off into space.

"Make sure you ask her a lot of questions and don't mind if Zee doesn't stop talking. Tell her that her outfit looks nice and don't buy her flowers. Also, she's had more experience than you, so if she kisses you a certain way, just kiss her back the same way."

"Can you show me?"

"Don't be smart."

"What if I don't want to do anything like that with her?"

"Just say you're not ready."

"Does that work?"

"Sometimes."

Wally suddenly thinks of the Christmas party and wants to ask about the other side of "sometimes." But then Artemis has put up her shackles and armor and Wally knows she wouldn't answer.

He wishes he could stop being in love with Artemis. He really does.

* * *

Wally does go to the dance and he does tell Zatanna how pretty her dress is and he does ask her a lot of question. What he does the most is learn all about her.

Zatanna wants to go to Sarah Lawrence and get a degree in sociology with a concentration in women's studies. She hates high school and wants to explore lesbian relationships. And when Wally smirks a little too much and asks if she thinks girls are pretty, she rolls her eyes in a way that reminds him of Artemis. Her favorite movie is The Illusionist and her favorite color is light blue. She hates Indian summers and misses her mother and wishes her father would let her grow up. She loves ice cream and pizza and magic shows and sometimes she reads the dictionary for fun. She is also fluent in Italian.

She talks all night and the only time she asks him a question is when she asks him if he wants to kiss her good night. He tells her he isn't ready and she says she understands.

Wally doesn't know how many dates you can go on and still not be ready to kiss. He doesn't think he'll ever be ready for Zatanna. Is that normal? He'll ask Artemis.

* * *

Incidentally, Artemis took Dick to the dance after Roy said he was too busy. Wally didn't see it, but he can imagine they had an argument because of the look on Artemis's face when she tells him that Roy said he didn't want to go to some stupid high school dance since he had already graduated.

* * *

After he drops Zatanna off at her house and drives back home, he finds his sister crying in the basement.

It's a different crying than when she told their father she loved John. And it's a different crying than when Wally saw her crying with John at the dance.

It's long and loud and grating and it kind of frightens Wally.

When he speaks to her, he talks quiet and slow in the way that Kaldur taught him.

"Are you okay?"

"Leave me alone, Wally."

"C'mon, you can tell me."

"You wouldn't understand."

"I could try."

"That's a laugh, really."

"I could wake up Mom and—"

"SHUT UP, WALLY. JUST SHUT UP."

And that's when the crying got even worse. She cries with her mouth open wide and hair sticking to her face and when Wally tries to give her the space she wants, she hugs him. She hugs him tight like she's never going to let go and he finds himself hugging her back because when someone hugs you like it's the end of the world you don't let go.

And finally she stops hugging him and her mouth closes and she brushes the hair off her face. And that's when she tells Wally she's pregnant.

Wally doesn't remember much else about the night, but he knows that it's John's baby even if John swears it's not. And he knows that no one else can ever know and no one else ever will.

Iris is eighteen and doesn't need their parents' permission, so Wally promises to drive her to the clinic.

"It's a good think I have a license now," he says, joking a little.

She doesn't laugh.

* * *

He sits in the waiting room of the clinic and wishes he could run. He can control his thoughts when he runs. But he can't move from this spot and all he can think about is his sister.

He thinks about how she used to paint his fingernails and how she took the color off his nails when Bart came home. And how she let him have her microscope when she didn't want it anymore. And how she cried when she found a lizard outside and laughed when Wally ran out the door to look at it. And how she let him watch whatever he wanted on television which didn't happen often but was nice when it did.

He thinks about how her face looked when she thought she was fat. And how it looked when she thought she was pretty. And how it looked when boys told her she was pretty. And how it looked when she liked a boy who wasn't a face on a poster on her wall. And how it looked when she fell in love with that boy.

He wonders what her face will look like when she comes out the door.

Wally can't take the silence in the waiting room and remembers he has cigarettes in the car. So he trades the waiting room for his car, waiting and chain-smoking and crying inexplicably.

* * *

"I can't believe you're smoking!"

Of all the things Iris could have said, she picks the smoking. She yells, face red as her hair, and if she could be angry, then Wally knows her face can't be that different. And that means she's going to be okay.

"I'm going to tell Mom and Dad."

"No, you're not."

And then he watches her same angry face as she thinks about where they are and why they are there and she laughs because Wally is right, she's not going to tell them at all.

She sleeps in the car on the ride home but not before telling him she loves him.

"I love you, too."

"I mean it."

"So do I."

She sleeps while he drives and when they pull into the driveway, he wakes her up gently. Iris then walks inside calm and collected, kisses their father's cheek and tells their mother about the movie they went to see.

* * *

Iris speaks very softly that night when he brings her another pillow and blanket. She tells him she's tired and he understands why. She also tells him thank you and good night.

And then just before she falls asleep and he turns out the lights and leaves her room, she says softer still,

"I want you to stop smoking, you hear?"

* * *

Wally and Zatanna go downtown to watch what she calls an "art" film. According to Zatanna, people only see Hollywood movies and miss articulate movies like this one. Wally's not really sure what the movie said so maybe it wasn't articulate enough. He doesn't tell her that though.

He doesn't say much at all and lets her take him all over downtown, to all her favorite stores. And she talks about each one in a different way, that each place is somewhere she can be exactly the way she wants and this is where she feels like herself. And sometimes she thinks there is nowhere for people like her to go, so she has to make these places for herself.

Wally thinks that even though she is a very small girl, she is very big. Too big for this town and probably too big for college. But he hopes that she can go to college and find the people who watch art films and go to coffee shops and appreciate all the same things she appreciates.

He doesn't tell her this, either.

And maybe he's not supposed to talk at all because she's taking him back to her house. And they sit in a room with golf trophies on the fireplace mantle and it doesn't smell like people live here and she's pouring brandy.

She lights a fire and is very excited in a way that Wally has never seen her be before. She talks about how she loves fires and wants to marry a man and live up north where it snows all the time. This is a side of Zatanna that Wally thinks only a few people have seen before.

They move closer together on the couch, warm with brandy, when she moves one fishnet-covered leg over his. And her hand touched his back, shoulder, neck. And his heart beat very quickly.

"Wally?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Do you like me?"

"Uh-huh."

"You know what I mean?"

"Uh-huh."

"Are you nervous?"

"Uh-huh."

"Don't be nervous."

"Okay."

The world melts away as she sits in his lap and kisses his neck and ears. Then his cheeks. Then his lips. And everything is happening in a sort of distant way, like Wally is watching someone else slide freckled hands under her jacket and someone else is removing her bra. He can't believe this is happening to him.

And when they stop kissing and start breathing, he slides onto the floor because he needs the space. Zatanna moves with him, resting her head on his chest and he's amazed at how warm her skin feels against his and how her breath seems to skid over his stomach.

"Wally?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"I think you're very pretty."

"Really?"

"Really."

Then she holds him a little tighter and for the first time since he met her, she is silent. She doesn't talk at all. And Wally's thoughts run like his legs cannot and he thinks about how her voice sounded different when she asked if she was pretty and how it changed even more when he said that she was.

* * *

All Dick can say is that he can't believe he never thought of it before because Wally and Zatanna are perfect for each other.

All Artemis does is nod and smile in that way that shows how sharp her teeth can be.

All Wally can think is how he wishes Zatanna hadn't said anything at all. But he also knows that's impossible for her to do.

As soon as he thinks that thought, he feels a little bad. But he's getting very tired of never getting a word in edgewise. She talks constantly, her questions to him are only her ideas phrased into questions he can only answer yes or no to.

Zatanna talks about the movie they saw, the art film. About how she exposed him to something great and meaningful, and isn't that wonderful? Thankfully she doesn't ever give him a chance to talk because he thinks he might accidentally say that he doesn't want to be exposed to anything great if she's going to keep talking about it afterwards.

She's also picking lint off his clothes. He thinks it might not bother him as much if she didn't talk as much, even though those two activities are not linked in any recognizable way.

* * *

Iris has broken up with John and is reading books about women and is just generally nicer and happier, so Wally goes to Iris with all his questions.

She says Zatanna is suffering from low-self esteem. That by introducing Wally to all these great things, Zatanna gained a superior position. She wouldn't need that if she was confident to begin with.

He doesn't know if this is true or not, but it makes him sad to think that girls feel this way. He also wishes Zatanna would ask him questions other than "What's up?"

* * *

Zatanna buys a book of poetry that she loves. So she buys the same book for Wally.

All day she tells him to show everyone the book.

He thinks about what his sister said, about self-esteem and control and how girls feel. But he doesn't think that just because Zatanna feels bad sometimes that she can make him feel bad. Wally doesn't want to be another thing Zatanna is in charge of.

So instead of going home after school, he goes to the store and returns the book.

Not long after he leaves the bookstore, he goes in again and buys it back.

* * *

Wally asks Zatanna to run with him. He's never run with anyone else before. Not since he started thinking and running and writing his thoughts. He tells her that, tries to make her understand.

"Thank you. That's very sweet of you."

But then she says she doesn't want to run and goes back to talking about the poetry.

Wally puts his feelings away.

* * *

Maybe it's to make up for the argument about the Sadie Hawkins dance, but Roy invites everyone to his apartment Good Friday night.

They listen to music, drink wine, smoke. And when Dick announces they should play truth or dare, they all agree.

Wally chooses dare all night, not wanting to tell Zatanna the truth all because of a game.

But because Dick is drunk and an asshole and not fully aware of what he's saying, he gives the worst dare possible.

"Kiss the prettiest girl in the room on the lips."

This is the moment Wally decides to be honest.

Zatanna is right next to him. So when he stands up, the whole room goes silent. He walks across the circle they've made and kneels in front of Artemis. He kisses her friendly, not romantic or sweet. But it doesn't matter.

Wally knows if he kissed Zatanna, he would have been lying to everyone. And everyone would have known it. And he doesn't think he can keep lying.

Zatanna gets up and leaves the room very quickly, a tiny click as she shuts the bathroom door. Artemis follows her, but not before turning around and staring at Wally dark and serious and upset.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

* * *

Wally's climbing into Dick's car, thinking he should have grabbed his coat before they left Roy's apartment. Or, if he wants to think about things he should have done differently, he should have handled this whole situation differently.

"Should I go back and apologize?"

Dick shakes his head as he starts his car.

"Trust me. It's best if you leave."

The car warms Wally even without his coat and the drive is silent until Roy's apartment has disappeared in the rearview mirror. And then Wally tells Dick everything.

He tells him about the poetry and the running and the talking talking talking. How Zatanna never asked any questions. How he felt controlled.

Dick doesn't look away from the roads before them.

"It's too bad you're not gay."

And even in the middle of all these terrible feelings, Wally laughs.

"Then again, if you were gay, I wouldn't date you. I need someone more chalant."

Wally laughs some more and Dick eggs him on.

"And I thought Tim was fucked up. God."

Wally laughs and Dick turns on the radio and they listen to music together until Dick pulls up to Wally's house.

He tells him to keep away for a while, just until things died down. That he'd call him when it's okay to come back. Wally nods, upset but not surprised.

Dick's just about to drive away when Wally calls out to him again.

"If I were gay, I'd want to date you."

He doesn't know why he said it, but it seemed right.

"Of course," Dick says, voice cocky and sure.

* * *

He doesn't talk to anyone for over a week. Finally he calls Kaldur and buys a quarter ounce of pot with his Easter money.

Wally smokes it all the time.

* * *

_Please review!_


	4. Part Four

**NOTES**: DONE. This was so much fun to write, but was also very difficult. It was exciting to write from someone else's style because I think it helped me realize my own style a little better. It was a great exercise and I recommend it to everyone: rewrite a book with your own characters just to get the feel of another writer's work. Maybe it's not helpful to everyone, but it was great for me. Also, if anyone enjoyed this story (and I really hope you did) please do yourself a favor and READ THE BOOK. Seriously, this is one of the most amazing books I have ever read in my whole life. I've read it countless times and every time I read it, I get something new from it. A new philosophy, a new understanding, a new perspective. It's done so much for me in terms of understanding people and situations a little better. Also, there is SO MUCH MORE in the book than in this fic. So much more about the main character's family and more about his well-being and so much more developed than this AU. There are links of it online if you don't want to buy it. And don't just watch the movie version. I'm sure the movie will be good (at least, it better be), but there is a certain magic in the book that I don't think can ever be replicated. Anyway, thank you all for reading. :)

This is dedicated to brella, who requested it on the Young Justice ficathon.

**DISCLAIMER**: I own nothing. This is HIGHLY inspired by Perks and if any of this seems familiar, that's why. The italics are direct quotes and I own nothing and claim nothing as purely original.

* * *

**PART FOUR**

_I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their hearts broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why. Especially since I know that if they went to another school, the person who had their heart broken would have had their heart broken by somebody else, so why does it have to be so personal?_

* * *

Wally can't spend time with his friends. He can't run either. It's hard to run when you're high.

So he goes to the mall and wonders why anyone goes there at all.

* * *

It's during one of his trips to the mall when he sees Megan. Megan who used to date Conner.

She's standing with a group of boys, one with green hair and an arm around her shoulders. She's cut her hair, Wally notices in an offhand way.

When she notices him, she grows pale. Like she's a new person and doesn't want these boys to know who she was a year ago. Or maybe she doesn't want to be reminded herself.

He walks over and the whole group goes quiet. He doesn't notice them at all, only looking at her with her pale face and short hair and wide eyes.

"Do you ever miss him?"

It's not mean or accusatory. He just wants to know if anyone else remembers Conner.

Wally stares at her blank expression for a long time and even high as he is, he understands that this isn't fair for him to ask her in a group like this. But her face doesn't fade and the expression doesn't change and he realizes that even if Conner were still around, it doesn't mean Megan would still be with him. Not because she's a bad person, but because it was middle school and love doesn't always last and friends aren't always friends. And people grow. And people change. And life doesn't stop for anybody.

"Sorry for bothering you, Megan. It's just been a bad day today."

He walks away from her blank expression and can hear someone, he thinks it might be the boy with green hair, say "God, that kid is such a fucking freak."

Megan doesn't correct him and Wally doesn't blame her.

* * *

Kaldur does not talk much. Mostly he is silent, calm as Wally smokes and non-judgmental as they never talk about their other friends.

So the day he mentions Tim's father caught Tim and Dick, his angered voice surprises Wally as much as the news.

Incidentally, Tim's father didn't know Tim's feelings because when he saw him, he started beating him. Not a slap or a whip of his belt, but hits on his face, shoulder, stomach. A real kind of beating.

And every time Dick yelled, "Stop!" or "You're hurting him!" and every time Dick tried to pull Tim's father off of Tim, Tim just yelled, "Get out!"

Finally, he did.

It's been a week and no one has seen Tim. Dick has tried calling, but when Tim's dad answered, he just hung up.

* * *

Even though the air is gray with all of Wally's mistakes and uncertainties, he calls Dick to ask how he is.

Dick is quiet for a long time. Quiet like he never is and that scares Wally for a moment before Dick finally sighs.

"I didn't call you because I didn't want to hear sympathy from my best pal."

"Dude, that's what a best pal is for."

Wally hangs up soon after that. Smoke fills the room.

* * *

Wally runs and thinks about his friends. He imagines conversations with them. In his mind, he tells Dick he's his best friend. He asks Artemis about Roy. He tells Zatanna he's sorry and could she please show him that card trick again because he really does think it's clever.

He stops thinking because it hurts too much, but he keeps running because it hurts too much to stop.

* * *

Iris has a new boyfriend. His name is Jay and he shakes Wally's hand when they meet.

He looks at his sister and sees a happiness and ease in her eyes that he hasn't seen since before John. It's then that he knows everything is going to be okay with her.

A moment later, she's sighing very agitatedly and telling him she wants to be alone with Jay.

Wally knows it's not fair to ruin her time just because he misses everyone, so he says good night and goes to his room.

He sits alone and wishes he wasn't.

* * *

_It's strange how things can change back as suddenly as they changed originally. When one thing happens and suddenly, things are back to normal._

* * *

Tim comes back on a Monday and it's like he was never really gone. Just back from a weekend off.

But he looks different. No longer walking with a bounce in his step. No longer looking at people in the hallway. But instead, he walks like everyone else: with his eyes on the floor and his shoulders hunched like the gargoyles in Wally's history textbook.

Wally can see Dick talk quiet and tense to Tim at his locker. And when Dick got upset, Tim shut his locker and walked away. It wasn't strange that Tim walked away. It was strange that Dick talked to him in public in the first place.

* * *

Later that day, Wally goes outside to run on his free period and sees Dick alone. From where he is, he's too far away to really see him, but close enough to know that this is Dick's alone time.

Dick's crying. Hard crying.

* * *

Anytime Wally sees Dick after that, it's like he's not really there. Like he's somewhere else. Like he wants to be someplace else and isn't sure how to get there.

That scares Wally because he's never known Dick to not get wherever he needs to go.

* * *

On Thursday, something really terrible happens.

Dick always gets where he needs to be. Or else, he tries to. At least, this is the reason Wally thinks of as he watches Dick cross the lunchroom to where Tim's sitting with the rest of the football team.

Tim ignores him and Dick gets upset like he did at the locker. But then the upset turns to anger and Dick walks away, tired of being ignored.

But then Tim calls out just loud enough for a few tables to hear.

"Faggot!"

And even though Tim's football buddies laugh, the rest of the cafeteria goes stone still as Dick turns around.

He storms up to Brad's table, moving so swiftly it's like he has wings.

"What did you call me?"

God, he was mad. Wally has never seen Dick like that before.

Tim was quiet and for a moment Wally wonders if he's going to keep quiet. But his football buddies egg him on and Cameron sits beside him, shoving at his shoulder enough to make Tim stand up and stare directly at Dick.

When he says it again, it's softer and meaner than the last time.

"I called you a faggot."

When Dick throws the first punch, no one is laughing. No one makes a noise. And it's an eerie sort of silence before the room explodes with noise.

They fight hard. No clean punches, no pause between hits, nothing like the movies. They just wrestled and hit and whoever was the most aggressive or the most angry got in the most hits. All in all, it's pretty even. They both have a lot to be angry about.

It's pretty fair until Cameron and some of the other football players join in the fight and then it's five against Dick.

And even though things aren't clear yet and even though Wally hasn't talked to his friends for weeks save for that one conversation with Dick and even though Wally ran right by Dick when he was crying, Wally joins the fight. He can't watch them hurt Dick.

The fight ends quickly. Everyone in the room seems surprised and Wally thinks maybe no one knows he can fight except for Bart who taught him. But in the end, Tim and two of his friends are just staring at him. One of the football players is holding his knee where Wally bashed a metal cafeteria chair into it and Cameron is clutching his face where Wally swiped at his eyes.

Wally can see tears in Dick's blue eyes as he helps him up and knows that he's messed up pretty bad even if he's not really crying yet. Then with his arm still around Dick's shoulder, Wally turns to Tim and talks quietly enough so that only Tim can hear him.

"If you ever do this again, I'll tell everyone. And if that doesn't work, I'll blind you."

He points to Cameron, still gripping at his face, and he knows Tim can hear him and that he means it. These are the first words he's ever really said to Tim, but even if he never talks to him again, this is the most important thing he can say to him.

The security guards take them all out of the cafeteria and straight to the nurse.

* * *

In the end, Dick is suspended for a week for starting the fight. The football players, except for Tim, get three days for ganging up on Dick. Tim gets a month's detention without suspension for self-defense. And Wally gets a month's detention for joining a fight, but doesn't get suspended since he was helping defend a friend.

* * *

The first day of detention, Tim comes to sit next to Wally.

And as mad as Wally is, as much as his blood is racing with adrenaline and anger, he's struck by how sad Tim looks. How very very sad he is. Wally thinks it's finally hit him what happened after he stopped feeling numb from the fight.

"Wally?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. Thanks for stopping them."

"You're welcome."

At first Wally is confused, but then he thinks he wouldn't want his friends beating up Artemis even if he wasn't allowed to like her anymore.

* * *

Artemis is waiting for him when detention is over. Wally is numb as he sees her leaning against the brick wall like a bad idea. He can't believe she's really there, smiling at him. And then she turns her head and her smile disappears leaving a cold, cold look as she stares at Tim.

"Tell him I'm sorry," he says.

She replies, "Tell him yourself."

Tim looks away and walks away and goes away.

Artemis doesn't even give him a glancing look, just slides the glare off her face as she looks at Wally appraisingly.

"So, you're some sort of ninja?"

He thinks he nods.

* * *

She drives him home in her truck and she talks the whole time. He's missed her voice.

She tells him she was really angry for doing what he did to Zatanna. Zatanna is a really old friend of hers and she even reminds him that Zatanna was there for her when she went through that tough time with her dad. Wally wishes she hadn't reminded him.

So when Wally kissed her instead of Zatanna, it hurt their friendship for a while because Zatanna had really like Wally. Which surprises Wally because how could she like him if she never really talked to him? If she only wanted to expose him to great things.

"Wally, you're an idiot."

"Yeah. I know. Honest."

They are silent a long time, and she takes the turns as sharp as he remembers them as they drive down the winding roads to his house.

"So, we can be friends now?"

"Of course."

* * *

She drops him off and even thanks him for giving her and Zatanna the space they needed to let their friendship recover. Then she tells him that he should do what she told Tim. When he tells her that he already tried to apologize to Zatanna, she simply tells him that she knows he already tried. Try again.

She drives away and Wally makes a promise at that moment to never mess up like he did before. And he's never going to.

* * *

He calls Zatanna that night. He says he was sorry and then asked if there was anything she wanted to say to him. And it almost makes him smile, how natural it is for him to ask a simple question and receive a long response in return. He listens, really listens this time and apologizes again when she's done.

And with that, things are back to normal except that they are just friends.

* * *

And while he's being open and honest, Wally thinks that the biggest reason for everything being okay is that Zatanna is dating someone new. One of Roy's friends from college. His name is Billy Batson and he's opinionated and fun and tells her she's magical. They have debates and, according to what she says to Karen, he doesn't need her permission to talk.

Wally figures he can either laugh or get mad. So he laughs and shrugs off how strange everyone is.

This is also the moment Wally decides to stop smoking as much. He can run for fun again and the cigarettes and pot are only holding him back.

* * *

It's like the world is in color again.

But Dick's sadness is more gray than Wally wants, even with his returned status as "friend." Dick isn't usually unhappy.

"You ever think, Wally, that our group is the same as any other group like the football team? And the only real difference between us is what we wear and why we wear it?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I think it's all bullshit."

And he means it. And it's for Wally to see him mean it so much.

* * *

Wally spends most of his time with Dick. And when they are together, he listens. Not like he listened with Zatanna, but listens and nods and it's somehow different how badly Dick needs to talk.

Dick calls him early on a Saturday morning and even though Wally tells him he has science homework he's been neglecting to do, Dick just tells him to get traught and get dressed because he's coming to pick him up.

It sounds like an adventure.

* * *

Dick hasn't slept all night apparently and is wide awake on cigarettes, coffee, and energy pills. He's single-mindedly watching the road as he drives fast down the pavement. The music pours out of the radio and when the second song plays, Wally asks if it's the one he made him for Secret Santa.

"I've been listening to it all night."

His smile is sick and glazy and numb. So he turns up the volume and drives faster. And when he finally speaks, he talks a mile a minute.

"I feel good. You know what I mean? Really good. Like I'm free or something. Like I don't have to pretend anymore. I'm going away to college, right? It'll be different there. You know what I mean? I've been thinking all night about what kind of posters I want to put up in my dorm room. And if I'll have an exposed brick wall. I've always wanted an exposed brick wall. I think it would be pretty asterous. Know what I mean? Things'll be different there. They have to be."

He finally stops to take a breath, not even looking at Wally until Wally can find the chance to answer.

"They will be," he responds.

Dick looks wildly at him like he forgot he had spoken everything to Wally in the first place.

"You really think so?

"Sure.

"Thanks, Wally."

* * *

They drive everywhere. They see a movie. They eat pizza. And whenever Dick got tired, he took another energy pill.

And with an afternoon sky turning into dusk, Dick shows Wally all the places he and Tim would meet. He doesn't say much. Just stares.

* * *

They drive back to Wally's house and the mix tape plays a bunch of winter songs in a row.

Dick turns to Wally.

"Thanks, Wally."

Wally thinks Dick is talking about today, so he simply says, "Sure."

"No. I mean in the cafeteria."

Wally just nods and says, "sure" again, but it's a little quieter and means something a little more.

After that, it's quiet again. They pull up into Wally's driveway and sit in the car for a long moment. They hug because even though they don't hug much, Wally can see Dick needs it and Dick can see that Wally needs to help him. They hug and just when Wally thinks it's time to let go, Dick holds him tighter and pulls away only enough to move his face to Wally's.

And he kisses Wally. A real kiss. Then, he pulls away slowly.

"I'm sorry."

"No. That's okay."

"Really. I'm sorry."

"No, really. It was okay."

So Dick thanks him again, hugs him again, kisses him again. And Wally lets him.

They kiss in the car for a long time, but they don't do anything but kiss. And then they don't do anything but sit quietly as Dick pulls away and the glazy look in his eyes fades away. He's not lost or numb or sleepy from staying up so long. Instead, he talks about Tim.

And again, Wally lets him. Because that's what a best pal is for.

* * *

_It's hard to see a friend hurt this much. Especially when you can't do anything except "be there." I want to make him stop hurting, but I can't. So, I just follow him around whenever he wants to show me his world._

* * *

Every night after that is much of the same. Dick drinks and Wally sips and Wally can't always breathe.

Dick always says he feels free and that the night is his destiny. But then he's just sad. Sometimes he talks about Tim, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he doesn't drink at all because he's running out of things to keep himself numb.

* * *

One night, he sees Tim out with some guy. And it's not just two buddies. Patrick doesn't say anything and Tim's too busy with what he's doing to even notice.

They drive in silence except for the crash as Dick throws the wine bottle out the window.

Wally is dropped off at his house and it's the first night that Dick doesn't kiss him. He just thanks Wally for being his friend and drives off.

* * *

The school year is ending. The seniors, like Artemis and Dick and Iris, all talk about prom and graduation and making plans.

Barry is sentimental at the end of his first year teaching and Wally thinks it's strange to think about teachers are being people.

The year is ending and it's the first time in a while that he's consciously thought about how he _hasn't_ thought about Conner in a long time. It doesn't feel like he's left Conner behind or moved on without him. He's just moved on.

* * *

Dick has stopped drinking since that night he saw Tim. He just wants to go to college.

The Monday after the night he and Dick saw Tim, Wally sees Tim in detention. He looks like he always looks.

Wally thinks everyone moves on in their own way.

* * *

Artemis has gotten into Gotham Academy. The school of her choice. She's happy and excited in a way that makes her cute in a way that she says she hates. But Wally thinks she secretly loves this burst of energy in her life. Her mother is apparently all tears and smiles with the thought of her daughter's success.

Wally is just as happy, but selfishly wishing it wasn't time for her to go yet. Especially since she's leaving in the summer for an early training program.

He has to stop doing this.

* * *

The last gym class of the year is basically an excuse for a free period. No one really runs on the track, opting to just walk idly and chat with friends.

But Wally runs. He runs like he has nearly every day, like he knows he will over the summer and next year and the next year after that and probably until his knees hurt too much to keep running.

The only reason he stops running before it's time to change in the locker is because Barry has pulled him aside and invited him to lunch with him and his girlfriend.

Wally says of course and tries to remember the last time he felt so much like an adult.

* * *

It's a beautiful sunset. It's the end of the last day of school.

Artemis and Dick and Wally walk towards that sunset, coming to the base of a hill and talking about things that are important for that moment.

Wally sees the sunset and runs towards it. Behind him, he can hear Dick's light footsteps and Artemis's steady pace as they immediately follow him.

He imagines what they all look like, silhouetted by the sun they're running after.

And everything is as good as it could be.

* * *

Wally remembers the last day of school in elementary school. How he and Conner sat on the bus with the rest of the students singing a song everyone loved because it had a swear.

_No more pencils,  
__no more books.  
__No more teachers' dirty looks.  
__When the teacher rings the bell,  
__drop your books  
__and run like hell._

When they finished, they would look at the bus driver for a tense second. Then they'd laugh because they had power in numbers and there would be no retribution.

Wally knows now that the bus driver didn't care that they were swearing. He just wanted to go home after work. But it didn't matter. It was the last day of school.

* * *

That night they go to a party at Roy's apartment. Since Roy and Billy were already in college and knew how important graduation is, they bought champagne to celebrate.

Wally watches as everyone dances. And talks. And celebrates. He watches Zatanna kissing Billy and looking happy. And Artemis kissing Roy and looking happy. And Karen kissing Mal and looking happy. And he watches Dick and Babs not even care that they weren't kissing anybody because they were just too excited talking about their futures.

So Wally sits with a bottle of champagne and watches his friends, alone and yet still a part of things.

* * *

It's prom night and Wally sits in his room.

All he hopes is that tonight is great for the people who it's supposed to be great for.

All he hopes is that Iris feels beautiful and that Jay makes her feel beautiful. He hopes that Roy doesn't make Artemis feel like her prom isn't special just because he's older. He hopes the same for Zatanna and Billy. He hopes Dick and Tim decide to make up and dance in front of the whole school. And that Babs is secretly a lesbian and in love with Tim's girlfriend Stephanie. And that Stephanie is secretly a lesbian and in love with Babs so that nobody is left out. He hopes the deejay is good. He hopes everyone's pictures turn out great and never become old photographs and nobody gets into a car accident.

That is what he really hopes.

* * *

Artemis and Roy have broken up.

Thanks to twenty-four hour film places, Wally gets to see very quickly how beautiful and handsome everyone looks. Roy apparently wore a suit instead of a tux. This is not why they broke up.

According to everyone, the prom was supposed to be very nice. They rode in a limo and even though the band was a really bad cover band, the drummer was good so everyone had a nice time dancing. Dick and Tim didn't even look at each other, but Artemis said Dick was really okay about it.

There was an after-prom party the school sponsored to keep everyone safe off the streets. Roy had rented a hotel suite for all of them, but only he and Artemis went. Artemis actually wanted to go to the school party, but Roy was angry because he had already paid for the suite. This is also not why they broke up.

It happened after Billy spoke up. Even though he is good friends with Roy, he loves Zatanna and is quite fond of Artemis and needed to set things right. It was something no one ever suspected.

Basically, Roy had been cheating on Artemis ever since they first started going out. And by cheating, he didn't get drunk and hook up once and feel bad about it afterwards. He was with a girl named Jade, and it happened drunk and sober and often.

At first Billy didn't say anything because he didn't know anyone. But then he got to know Artemis and saw that this wasn't okay and decided to do something about it.

Apparently Roy had a bunch of reasons not to tell Artemis.

"I don't want to ruin prom for her."  
"I don't want to ruin graduation for her."  
"She's going to college soon and will find a new guy."

But then Billy found out Roy had been with Jade the afternoon before prom. So he told Roy that if Roy didn't say something to Artemis, he would.

And then at prom, Billy overheard Artemis tell Zatanna that maybe Roy was "the one" and how she was trying to think of ways to keep it going long-distance. Letters. Phone calls. Vacations.

That was it for Billy.

"Tell her something now or I tell her everything."

So Roy took her into his bedroom and when Artemis finally left, she so sad all she wanted to do was hit something. So she ran off with Zatanna trailing after her. Roy didn't follow her. Wally thinks he should have. Not to get her back or anything like that, but he should have run after her anyway.

* * *

Wally hasn't heard anything since then. Dick called to tell him everything, but he didn't go after Zatanna to find Artemis. He knows her well enough to let her cool off first. Before Dick hung up the phone, he promised to call as soon as he heard anything else.

Laying in bed and trying to sleep, Wally realizes something. Something that he thinks is probably very important. Not once since he heard about the break up did he feel happy. Not once. Not at all.

He never thought about how it would mean Artemis might start liking him. All he cares about is that Artemis got really hurt.

And that's when he realizes how deeply he truly loves her. Because there is nothing to gain and that doesn't matter.

* * *

Barry looks different without a suit.

He looks barely older than Wally in his t-shirt and jeans and barefeet. He looks happy with his girlfriend, Laurel, and Wally is glad for him.

Their house doesn't have a lot of furniture and Laurel teases that it's for Barry's safety. He's always moving so quickly and running into chairs or the corner of the kitchen table.

The house smells like spaghetti as they eat lunch and listen to jazz music. Barry asks him how he liked his first year of high school. Wally tells him everything, about how they felt infinite and how he listened to good music and how he was alone but still a part of everyone else and how he loves Artemis.

And as Wally finishes, Barry is very silent. And then he clears his throat.

"Wally, I want to thank you."

"Why?"

"Because it's been a wonderful experience teaching you."

Wally doesn't really know what to say. So he eats more spaghetti.

"Wally," Barry continues, "do you know why I had you run so much? Write down your thoughts?"

Mouth full of noodle, Wally shakes his head.

"Wally, you're one of the most gifted people I've ever known. And I don't mean in terms of my other students. I mean in terms of anyone I've ever met. I had you run because I thought you needed a way to focus. A way to make your thoughts match your pace. You have some good thoughts, kid. That's why I had you write them down. So they don't get lost on the track. So when summer is over and you're back at school and I'm not your teacher anymore, I want you to know that if you ever need anything or want to show me anything you write, or anything at all, you can always come to me as a friend. I do consider you a friend, Wally. I just want you to know that you're very special and the only reason I'm telling you that is that I don't know if anyone else ever has."

Wally feels solid. Not like running or vibrating with energy and runaway thoughts, but solid. He doesn't know what to say, but despite his solid standing, his mouth runs away from him.

"You're the best teacher I ever had."

And Barry says, "Thank you."

And that's it. After a few minutes, it's time for Wally to leave. He doesn't know who decides these things. It just happens.

So they walk to the door and Laurel hugs him goodbye and Barry shakes his hand. Wally sneaks in a hug before saying "goodbye" and driving home.

* * *

Bart comes home from college on the Saturday night before graduation.

Wally thinks he looks different, and not just because of his new beard. He smiles differently and asks questions about everyone else's life instead of just talking about himself.

Wally's happy he's home.

* * *

Graduation day starts early. Wally hasn't heard from Dick or Artemis in a few days, but he knows he'll see them at graduation.

So they have brunch with champagne, though Iris and Wally still have to drink sparkling apple juice. Their father films them all with the video camera he rented from the store.

"Why buy a camera when you only need it three times a year?"

And when brunch is over, Wally is the one to drive them because the adults are tipsy and Iris is so nervous.

She has to give the salutatorian speech. She would have been valedictorian, but she got a B when she was having her problems with her boyfriend.

Wally doesn't think it's possible to be more proud of her.

* * *

Wally's mom is finding somewhere in the bleachers where she can stand and videotape the ceremony from a good angle. Beside him, Bart and their dad talk about track. Wally keeps looking for Dick and Artemis, but it's a sea of caps in the distance.

But when he finally sees Artemis walking proud and determined with Dick behind her loose and springy, he's just so relieved. He can't really tell if she's happy or sad, but it's enough that he gets to see her and know that she's there.

* * *

The speeches are pretty much all the same. Achievements the school made. Favorite memories. Quoting pop songs. Talking about the future.

But when Iris quotes a pop song and talks about the future, it seems great.

Maybe they're all biased, but Wally looks at his family. His mom is still holding the camera and crying soft and messy and his dad has tears in his eyes and Bart looks proud.

When Iris's speech is over, no one claps harder or yells louder than Wally.

* * *

Wally watches everyone get their diploma. Babs, Artemis, Dick. Then it's his sister's turn and his mother cries a little harder.

Zatanna gets her diploma and Wally claps a little harder because she's getting to be that big person in a big college like she always wanted.

It's a great day. Even when Tim gets his diploma, Wally claps. It seems okay.

* * *

It's family dinner and time spent wishing Iris well. It's nearly ten at night before Wally's father lets him visit Artemis and Dick.

"Thanks for sticking around. It meant a lot to me and the family."

* * *

_There's something about that tunnel that leads to downtown. It's glorious at night. Just glorious. You start on one side of the mountain, and it's dark, and the radio is loud. As you enter the tunnel, the wind gets sucked away, and you squint from the lights overhead. When you adjust to the lights, you can see the other side in the distance just as the sound of the radio fades to nothing because the waves just can't reach. Then, you're in the middle of the tunnel, and everything becomes a calm dream. As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get there fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. And the radio comes back even louder than you remember it. And the wind is waiting. And you fly out of the tunnel onto the bridge. And there it is. The city. A million lights and buildings and everything seems as exciting as the first time you saw it. It really is a grand entrance._

* * *

Artemis had told him everyone was celebrating at a dance club. It takes him half an hour to find Zatanna and Billy in a sitting room off the main dance room. She's sipping cranberry and vodka like a queen as she tells him Karen is getting high in the bathroom with Mal, Babs is still with her parents, and Dick and Artemis are dancing somewhere on the floor.

Wally isn't sure where exactly they are, so he sits and waits and listens to Zatanna and Billy debate about the power of fate.

It's like the clock stopped. He just wants to see Artemis.

Three songs later, Artemis and Dick return in a sheen of sweat and everyone hugs like they haven't seen each other in months. Considering everything that happened, Wally guesses that makes sense.

Dick lays on top of Billy and Zatanna like they are a couch. He even takes Zatanna's drink and swigs it back as she calls him an asshole. Wally thinks he might be drunk, even though he hasn't been drinking as much lately. But then again, Dick does that stuff sober, so it's hard to tell.

Then Artemis grabs Wally's hand. "I love this song!" She leads him to the dance floor, hair tossed back in a ponytail that doesn't make a big deal about itself. Of course he follows.

They dance fast and fun and Wally's not very good, but she doesn't seem to mind. They are dancing and that's enough.

The song ends and a slow song picks up in its place. She looks at Wally and before he can even react to her eyes on his, she puts his hands on her waist and pulls him in to dance slow. And for all his rushing blood and anxious feet, he simply sways back and forth holding Artemis.

Her whisper smells like rum and coke.

"I looked for you in the parking lot today."

He hopes his breath smells like toothpaste.

"I was looking for you, too."

They stay quiet for the rest of the song. She holds him closer, he holds her closer still. He just really wants the clock to stop. And just be there for a long time.

* * *

After the dance club, they all go back to Billy's apartment.

Everyone is in various states of tipsy and happy and silly and when Babs barges in, it's like a family reunion. She's somehow stuck resting against Zatanna and halfway under Dick's legs when the commotion is at its greatest.

Wally takes advantage of the moment to catch Artemis by the elbow. She spins around, loose with a bit of alcohol, but her eyes sharpen as she sees him. He hands her an envelope and smiles with a wink before stepping aside and waiting for the room to quiet down.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Artemis open the envelope and read her letter. It's a small letter, more of a note than a letter, and all it does is tell her that he wants her to be happy because she's his favorite person in the whole world. He can see her expression and he knows that she knows that he meant what he wrote.

With a coffee cup filled with red wine, Wally stands in the middle of the small living room.

"I'm going to miss you all very much. I hope you have a great time at college."

Simultaneously, it hits everyone that they are all leaving and the laughs become more nostalgic and the hugs a little tighter.

Wally's watching everyone pull closer to one another when Artemis catches him by the elbow much like he had done to her moments before. Wordlessly, she leads him to the kitchen.

The atmosphere is calmer somehow in the tiny room.

Artemis says, "You know I'm leaving in a week."

It's not a question, but he answers anyway.

"Yeah. I know."

"I want you to listen."

"Okay."

She's quiet for a long time, so long that Wally thinks he's supposed to listen to the silence. That this is what the world is going to sound like when Artemis leaves.

When she finally speaks, she sounds a little guilty, but her eyes are glaring at him as though daring him to laugh.

"I'm really scared to be alone at college."

Wally stares. He hadn't even thought of that.

"You are?" he asks, perplexed.

"Just like you're really scared to be alone here." Again, she's challenging him to say she's wrong.

He simply answers, "Okay."

Artemis eyes him carefully, and he can practically see her measuring him up in her mind. When she talks again, she's all cool and business and practical.

"So, I'll make you a deal. When things get to be too much at college, I'll call you, and when things get to be too much here, you call me."

"Okay."

Some of her cool logic fades away and she looks like she wants to put a hand on his shoulder, but thinks better of it.

"Wally, I'm going to be back at the end of the summer, but before we think about that, let's just enjoy this last week together. All of us. Okay?

He nods.

* * *

The next day is different. Wally doesn't sleep from adrenaline and doesn't see Dick and Artemis because they are out with their parents for a fancy graduation dinner.

So he runs.

At the end of the run, nothing really seems like a good bye.

* * *

The week leading up to Artemis's departure is very frantic. She spends her time divided between hanging out with Wally and their friends and shopping for all her supplies.

It's strange for Wally to see this scared side of her. This anxious creature who's not herself until she had a sip of whatever they're drinking or a hit of whatever they're smoking. Then she's Artemis again.

* * *

One thing that helps Artemis is having lunch with Roy.

It's "closure" and Wally doesn't think Roy deserves it, but Artemis wants it. And Roy is decent enough to tell her she was right to break up with him and that she's a special person and that he's sorry and that he wishes her well.

It's strange the times people choose to be generous.

Artemis leaves the lunch a little more secure than when she entered. As she tells him the story, Wally can see that she's still a little sad. But it's a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.

* * *

The night before Artemis had to leave, everyone piles into Dick and Artemis's house. They sit, telling inside jokes that aren't inside jokes anymore; they're stories. Nobody brings up the bad times or the bad names and nobody is sad because they can postpone until tomorrow to feel any nostalgia.

_Remember when we put the naked picture into the newspaper... or remember when Kaldur did this... or Wally... or Zatanna... or Raquel... or Artemis..._

After a while, Zatanna, Babs, Raquel, and Kaldur leave with the promises of seeing Artemis before she finally leaves the next morning. And then it's just Dick and Artemis and Wally.

_Remember when Wally first came to see us at the football game... and remember when Artemis laughed at Wally's dancing at homecoming... or remember the mixtape... and remember running up the hill... and remember when we all felt infinite..._

After Wally says that, it gets quiet and sad. And in the silence, Wally remembers this one time that he never told anybody about. He didn't even write it in his lightning bolt notebook. The time they were walking. Just the three of them. And he was in the middle. He doesn't remember where they were walking to or where they were walking from. He doesn't even remember the season. He just remembers walking between them and feeling for the first time that he belonged somewhere.

Finally, Dick stood up.

"I'm tired, guys. Good night."

He tugs on Artemis's ponytail and cackles just out of her reach as she tries to push him in retaliation. Wally sometimes forgets that they aren't really brother and sister.

It's quiet for a moment as they listen to Dick go to his bedroom. Then Artemis turns to Wally.

"Wally, I have to pack up some things. Wanna stay with me a while?"

He nods and they walk upstairs.

Her room is nearly empty. The pictures are down and the dressers are empty and everything is in a big pile on her bed. He just looks around casually like he's not upset that she's leaving because she doesn't need to be any more panicked than she already is.

So he sits on her bed next to her pile of everything she owns and watches her pack. He tries to notice as many details as he possibly could. His eyes dart quickly, taking in her long hair and her thin wrists and her stormy eyes. He wants to remember everything. Especially the sound of her voice.

Artemis talks about a lot of things, trying to keep herself distracted. She talks about the long drive she'll have to make tomorrow. She wonders what her classes will be like and she kinda wants to join the archery team. She doesn't want to join a sorority, but she's looking forward to the football games.

Her voice isn't sad, but it's quiet when she finally zips up her suitcase and faces Wally directly for the first time.

"Why didn't you ask me out when the whole Roy thing happened?"

The look in her eyes doesn't warrant anything but a need for honesty.

But he doesn't know how to answer the question so he just sits there.

"Wally... after that thing with Zatanna at the party and us dancing at the club and everything..."

Wally doesn't know what to say. No one makes him feel as lost as Artemis.

"Okay, Wally... I'll make this easy," she says with a familiar roll of her eyes. "When the whole thing with Roy happened, what did you think?"

She really wants to know, he can see that.

So he answers.

"Well, I thought about a lot of things. But mostly, I thought about how your being sad was much more important to me than Roy not being your boyfriend anymore. And if it means that I would never get to think of you that way, as long as you were happy, it was okay."

Artemis is still looking at him with those eyes that demand the truth, so he finishes his trailed off sentence. He looks her right in the eye as he says it.

"That's when I realized that I really loved you."

Artemis sits on the bed beside him, the pile gone after packing.

"Wally, don't you get it? I can't feel that. It's weirdly sweet, but it's like you're not even there sometimes. You listen and you're a shoulder to cry on, but what if I don't need a shoulder? What if I need you to put your arms around me or a hand to help steady me? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You can't keep all those thoughts in your head and run to center yourself. What if someone wants to run with you?"

"What do you mean?" His mouth is dry.

She sighs, a little aggravated, but patient. "I don't know. What if someone wants you to take their hands when the slow song comes up? Or be the one who asks someone for a date. Or tell people what you need. Or what you want."

Wally didn't think he was like that, but he thinks maybe everyone looks different from another perspective.

Artemis continues, "Like on the dance floor, did you want to kiss me?"

"Yeah."

"Then, why didn't you?" she asks so serious.

"Because I didn't think you wanted me to."

"Why did you think that?"

"Because of what you said."

"What I said nine months ago? When I told you not to think of me that way?"

Wally nods.

"Wally, you followed my advice when I told you how to behave with Zatanna. And Billy isn't like that at all. He does the exact opposite and it's works for them because that's just who Billy is. He's being himself."

"But I didn't like Zatanna."

"You're missing the point, Wally. The point is that I don't think you would have acted different even if you did like Zatanna."

Wally doesn't really understand and he tells her as much.

Artemis is contemplative for a moment, her eyes sweeping over his face as she thinks.

Finally, she speaks again, her voice patient in a way that he wouldn't have expected from her.

"It's like you can come to Dick's rescue and hurt two guys who are trying to hurt him, but what about when Dick is hurting himself? Did you want him to kiss you?"

Wally shakes his head no.

"Then why'd you let him?"

"I was just trying to be a friend."

"But you weren't," Artemis stresses, toying with the end of her blonde ponytail. "At those times, you weren't being his friend at all. Because you weren't honest with him."

Wally sits uncomfortable, watching Artemis as she levels him with a hard stare. He's never been this quiet for this long, but she brings this out in him.

"Wally, I told you not to think of me that way nine months ago because I didn't know that's who you were. I didn't know that was you being yourself. I just didn't want to be somebody's crush. And I still don't. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me. And if they do something I don't like, I'll sure as hell tell them."

Wally doesn't doubt that for a moment and he's about to say as much when Artemis keeps talking.

"You know I blamed Roy for not letting me do things? You know how stupid I feel about that now? Maybe he didn't really encourage me to do things, but he didn't prevent me from doing them either. But after a while, I didn't do thinks because I didn't want him to think different about me. But the thing is, I wasn't being honest. So, why would I care whether or not he loved me when he didn't really even know me? I'm one of a kind and he didn't see that, so why should I care what he thinks?"

Her eyes are so gray, he thinks. He can barely swallow, her words are choking him and opening his eyes all at the same time.

Artemis is determined and there is nothing more beautiful than her face at this moment. All fierce lines and confidence and pride.

"So, tomorrow, I'm leaving. And I'm not going to let anyone affect me like Roy did ever again. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is. But right now I'm here with you. And I want to know where you are, what you need, and what you want to do."

For the first time, Wally doesn't need to run to work out his thoughts. He doesn't think about it, doesn't talk about it. If she doesn't like it, she could just say so.

He leans in to her beautiful face and whispers, "I should have done this a long time ago."

Even as he moves closer, she answers him until her lips are brushing against him as she speaks. "Yeah, you should have."

He kisses her. And she kisses him back. And they lay on the bed and keep kissing. And it's soft. And they make quiet noises. And keep silent. And still.

And then something changes, and suddenly their hands are everywhere. They touch from the waist up over their clothes. And then under their clothes. And then without clothes. And it is so beautiful.

She is so beautiful.

* * *

He wakes up the next morning to find her already gone and making breakfast with Dick. He joins them in the kitchen and Dick is surprisingly quiet. He gives him a once-over and doesn't crack a single joke, just asks if he wants breakfast.

They eat with Dick and Artemis's parents and no one thinks it's strange at all that Wally stayed the night. It's perfect and he loves her and nothing can ruin this moment.

Everyone shows up soon after breakfast and everyone is ready to say goodbye. Her parents load everything into the van, except for a few things Dick puts in the back of her truck. One by one, Artemis hugs her friends and tells them goodbye. Since she'll be back for the last few days of summer, it feels more like a "see you later" than a goodbye.

Wally's last. Artemis walks up and holds him for a long time in a rare display of public affection. And if someone makes a comment, she only flips them off and holds Wally tighter. Finally she whispers in his ear that she will miss him and how he should take care of himself while she's gone and that when she comes back they will drive through the tunnel again.

"You're my best friend," is all he can say in return.

They smile and she kisses his cheek and leaves his skin feeling raw.

So she climbs into her truck and Dick starts it up and a great song plays on the radio and everyone is smiling. Even Wally. But he doesn't feel like he's there anymore.

It's not until he can't see the van and truck anymore that he comes back.

* * *

Wally runs. He runs two months away until Artemis is back.

* * *

Dick and Artemis arrive in Artemis's pick-up truck. And they go to dinner like usual, only this time Artemis is telling them all about college. Her eyes are bright as she speaks and Wally watches as she keeps tugging on the ponytail that doesn't make a big deal about itself.

She talks about college, which sounds exciting. Wally talks about running, which isn't exciting at all. Dick makes jokes to keep everyone honest.

And then it's time to leave and just like Artemis promised before she left, they drive to the tunnel.

About half a mile from the tunnel, Artemis stops the car and Wally climbs into the back. Dick plays the radio really loud so Wally can hear it, and as they are approaching the tunnel, Wally listens to the music and thinks about all the things people have told him over the past year.

He thinks about Barry telling him he's special. And Iris telling him she loves him. And his mother. And his dad and Bart, too. He thinks about Dick calling him his friend. And he thinks about Artemis. And he thinks about how great it is to have friends and a family.

As they go into the tunnel, he doesn't hold his arms up like he's flying. He just lets the wind rush over his face. And he smiles and laughs and almost wants to cry because it's everything at once. Because he is suddenly very aware of the fact that he's the one standing up in that tunnel with the wind over his face. Not caring if he sees downtown, not even thinking about it.

Because he's standing in the tunnel. And he's really there. And that is enough to make him feel infinite.

* * *

_I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have to power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them._

* * *

_Please review!_


End file.
